Twice Upon a Memoir
by Anjelle
Summary: Sabo never said much about his past. He never told her why he fought with a pipe, or just what it was he was always writing in that book of his. But hearing him talking about his brothers was all she really needed to understand.


**This is just a little drabble I wrote for a friend's birthday with the prompt of Sabo talking to Koala about his brothers, so happy (belated) birthday, Willow!**

 **Spoilers for chapter 794**

 **Enjoy~**

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She saw him sitting there, at his desk - a sight so familiar that ordinarily she wouldn't give it a second thought. Ordinarily, no - but lately things _hadn't_ been ordinary. A number of aspects of the chief of staff had been altered as of late. They all noticed. The routine that had built up over the many years he'd spent with the army slowly began to crumble and fade, forgotten uncaringly in the trails left behind as their comrade moved forward.

She had been afraid of this.

That wasn't to say that Sabo hadn't been fulfilling his duties. No, he was too hardworking for that - too stubborn, too passionate. It had been something she'd admired since they first met some-odd years ago, something she could _strive_ for, and she liked to think she accomplished that goal. But while his work never suffered he felt… different. Changed. Bizarre. And through it all she was left to wonder 'why?'

No, she knew why. Even still she could hear his haunted scream and it chilled her bones, froze her thoughts. It left her standing still as she watched his back from the doorway, clutching tightly to the frame, a pang of worry in her chest as she pressed her lips together and thought. Sabo… remembered. They'd always known it was possible; she'd joined years after he had, and was told of his condition soon after. It was something always at the back of her mind, a 'what if' scenario that she couldn't be sure would ever play out, and while she wanted him to remember it all a part of her also hoped that he wouldn't - that things would stay as they were, and he would stay with them. He'd become and integral part of the revolutionary army and without him things would feel… off.

But now it was too late for 'what ifs'. Sabo remembered, and she could still see the torn look on his face as he woke from his days-long sleep. The behavioural changes were… subtle, at first. He cursed more, his speech a little less refined - he'd always been very well-spoken, always so easy to converse with. And while those qualities still remained there was this… peculiar edge to his words, barely there yet still somehow noticeable enough to cause alarm, at least for her. One morning she remembered him coming out to the dining hall wearing goggles around his hat. No one said anything, aside from a few teasing remarks that he easily brushed off with a smile. She didn't ask. She didn't think he would tell. And then after that he started fighting with a pipe, bringing it onto missions with him whenever they left. He, Sabo - trained by Dragon in hand-to-hand combat since he was ten years old. It was… a bit concerning, she had to admit. Why a _pipe_? Why not a bo staff, at least?

And there he sat, alone in his room. It'd become almost the norm to see him sitting there. He'd been spending less time around their comrades, favouring isolation, and she had to wonder…

Knocking thrice, she watched as the blond's head snapped up, large, dark eyes staring her way, and a slow-growing smile stretched across his face. She returned the gesture, stepping inside and closing the distance between them to place a stack of papers on his desk.

"More documents?" he questioned, eyebrow raised as he pulled the first few papers over, quill pen left forgotten on the desktop.

"Mission summaries, mostly," Koala supplied, her eyes naturally scrolling over to the book he'd been writing in. Again. Always, every time she stepped into his his office, he would have that book opened and turned to a blank page, writing in it things that she honestly had no clue about. It was a habit only formed after he recovered from his amnesia, and she couldn't help but wonder about it. "What's that?"

"Hm?" Sabo followed her eyes, and she half expected him to dismiss it. Instead a fondness crossed his face, expression soft as he brushed the pads of his fingers along the dried ink stark against the pages. "My journal."

A bit surprised to get an answer out of him, she dragged a chair over and plopped down onto it, leaning in to get a look. The angle she was at had her frowning, unable to make out the words. It was probably for the best; it'd be an invasion of his privacy if she read it without permission. Sabo never used to be secretive, he'd actually been very open, but now… now things were different, and she couldn't be sure. "You started writing in one after you remembered?" Perhaps he just… wanted to make sure he wouldn't forget again. She could understand that. Looking back it probably bothered him, losing so many years of his life.

"Yeah," he nodded, staring at the words. "I told my brothers that once I set out I would write about all of my adventures… but I couldn't remember that promise, so I want to make up for it now."

Koala frowned, a twinge of guilt entering her thoughts that was quickly washed away by a smile. That was the first he'd told her. Dragon knew everything, she supposed, but he hadn't really opened up to the rest of the group. She wouldn't waste this chance. "You have brothers?"

He stiffened a moment before allowing a small grin to play on his lips, leaning back in his chair and absently flipping to the front of the book, and as she leaned closer she first made out the familiar textured paper of a bounty poster, a picture cut out and plastered onto the inside cover depicting a grinning youth with large eyes and dark hair. "Luffy," he muttered quickly, then turning to the back cover to show a similarly pasted photo, "Ace."

As she stared at the image, a smirking pirate with freckled cheeks, her eyes widened and she tensed, recalling that day weeks ago following Marineford. Portgas D. Ace. She remembered the name and, even more, the article attached.

"My brother's dead," Sabo continued, quiet and hushed before closing the journal altogether. "Well, one is, at least. Luffy… They haven't found him, but that's a good thing, not bad. He's alright. I'm sure of it."

"Sabo…"

He smiled. "Ace protected him. Just like I asked." She could see the way he tightly gripped the arm of his chair but as his face was calm and voice steady she allowed it to go unmentioned. "He didn't like Luffy at first, you know. Lu was admittedly a bit annoying, and Ace could be pretty hard to get along with… They were both loud, and reckless, and I'd have to be the cautious one - to keep them out of trouble. Of course, it never _worked_ …"

"You're reckless, too, you know." He made a face and she couldn't help but laugh, resting her arms on the desk, allowing her gaze to rove across the room curiously. He'd done some redecorating, and she was starting to understand why. Maybe he needed to talk. "That's what the pipe was about, then?"

Sabo grinned, turning to fully face her. "We fought with those when we were kids. Pipes from Grey Terminal. Honestly I'm not surprised he switched to hand-to-hand combat, he or Luffy. They've always seemed like the type, and now that they're older they'd have the strength for it…"

"You do, too."

"I suppose so. But it feels… nostalgic, you know? I just… feel closer to them, I suppose."

"I know." Her eyes caught on the bedpost where a familiar black top hat was resting, and she was starting to see a pattern. But just to confirm it, "And your hat?"

The blond looked away, much to her amusement, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I thought just having a hat would be enough… but it didn't feel right. I - I had these goggles I wore around it, Ace and I found them a little before we met Luffy."

"I see." Koala's smile became easier and before long she yanked the journal right out of her superior's lap, much to his protests, and started thumbing through it. The smile slowly fell. The earliest pages detailed his younger years, waking up in the care of the revolutionary army. Almost like an autobiography it continued throughout, describing everything he could remember from the faces of the people he met to just how long it took him to recover. And then, scattered throughout…

" _How was your eighth birthday, Lu? Did Ace forget? He better not have. It would be just like him, too, wouldn't it?"_

" _What did Garp say when Ace left? I bet there was a lot of yelling involved… Did he put you through another of his training sessions?"_

" _How did you end up with the Whitebeard pirates, Ace? That's a story I'd like to hear. I've heard they work as a family unit… A bit like us, don't you think?"_

" _You've been causing a lot of trouble, Luffy! Well, not like I'd expect anything else."_

Sabo stole it back before she could catch anymore notes sprinkled throughout, frowning at her with a mix of annoyance and embarrassment, to which she just laughed and ruffled his hair, rising to her feet in reluctance. "I need to head out. There's work to do."

"There's _always_ work," he griped, sighing as he shoved the journal aside in favour of the summaries he'd been given. "I don't think Dragon understands the concept of a day off."

"If he did, would you take one?"

He grinned. "Probably not."

"Then stop complaining!" She huffed, hands on her hips before she turned for the door, marching out into the hall, feeling… oddly light.

She could get used to it. The pipe wasn't so bad, and she could put up with the silly goggles for nostalgia's sake. In fact, perhaps she'd get her own…

"Koala?" that same voice called, and she stopped to looked back into the study. "Thank you."

Sabo was still Sabo.

" _Hey, Ace… thank you. For keeping our promise. I'll take over from here."_

"Anytime, Chief."

* * *

 **Adieu~**


End file.
